Archive for the ‘Ponders’ Category

looking inside

How are you at looking inside past our clay suit! Did you dare to touch a soul today!

 

 

Leaders produce people who believe in their-self

Leaders produce people who believe in their-self that lead others to believe in their-self,
take time to listen and ponder,
GW
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Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Why Comparison Is the Thief of Joy                                                                                         

Mulligans for Life, Partners                                                                                                                                       Great read on possible traps of comparison, by Yuval Atsmon. Published on July 20, 2018  A 2016 and 2017 Linkedin Top Voice; SVP, Advisory Sectors at Globality, Inc.                                                                                            The word teaches in: 2 Corinthians 10:11-13 (NRSVCE)” Let such people understand that what we say by letter when absent, we will also do when present. We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another, and compare themselves with one another, they do not show good sense. 13 We, however, will not boast beyond limits, but will keep within the field that God has assigned to us, to reach out even as far as you.

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW

Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel

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Why Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

 

Thinking businessman choosing between devil or angel

By Yuval Atsmon ,

 I find these six words – “comparison is the thief of joy” – to be incredibly powerful because of how obviously true they are when we reflect on them. So often, we judge our close colleagues through the lens of comparison and unknowingly let it taint our relationships with them.

Why is social comparison so pervasive and inevitable?

Our expectations rapidly change relative to what we see around us, as illustrated by a famous experiment with capuchin monkeys. A monkey who was fed a cucumber went from bliss to rage when he saw a neighbour monkey being fed grapes (which monkeys seem to universally enjoy more). It took virtually no time for the first monkey to demonstrate the innate tendency to completely change its assessment of a situation after observing a peer.                                                                          When people engage in comparison, they are almost always employing what psychologists have termed counterfactual thinking, i.e., how events could have turned out differently. If you’re in a car accident, for example, you may think about how you could have avoided the accident if you weren’t looking at your phone. That is what’s known as upward counterfactual thinking, focused on how the outcome could have been better. But you may also think about what could have happened if the vehicle that hit you was a truck and not a Mini Cooper, which is a downward counterfactual, focused on how the situation could have been worse.

The upward counterfactual is particularly self-defeating. There is a significant volume of research showing how such comparison can spoil an achievement or create rifts between siblings, colleagues and friends. For example:

  • Multiple studies have shown that bronze medallists are significantly happier than silver medallists. Many second-place finishers are engaged in upward counterfactual thinking about how close they were to winning gold. In contrast, third-place finishers compare themselves to all those who missed the podium.
  • In courses where the cut-off to get an A was 90 percent, students who got an 89 were less happy than students who got an 87, even though both groups received a grade of B+.
  • Graduates during a recession reported a much higher level of satisfaction with jobs that one to two years before were disappointing for similar graduates in a stronger economy. The most interesting thing in this research is that even years later, people who entered the workforce in bad economic times were less likely to entertain upward counterfactuals and more likely to feel grateful for their jobs.

Comparisons that most threaten our self-image are to people we’re close to, who are performing better than us, in a domain we care about – according to the social psychology self-evaluation maintenance model. It’s why siblings (especially those close in age) often choose different activities to escape the negative effects of comparison, and different dispositions can make for a more harmonious marriage.

At work, especially when we are successful and rising up in the ranks, it’s hard to avoid comparing ourselves to accomplished colleagues who are skilled in similar domains.

I have written about how comparison can really backfire when you are surrounded by (other) over-achievers and feel insecure as a result. But it doesn’t only rob individuals of their happiness and a fair chance to be successful by their own standards; it also undermines team effectiveness.

Making upward comparisons can evoke feelings of threat, anger and envy. To maintain a positive self-image, we may try to discount the validity of the comparison, looking for reasons to disparage others’ achievements. On the other hand, research shows that when we make downward comparisons, we are prone to reverse distortions, exaggerating the level of our performance or inflating our perception of our domain of achievement.

Social psychologists make a distinction between affective trust (I am willing to be vulnerable with someone because of our emotional bond) and cognitive trust (I am willing to be vulnerable with someone because I believe in her ability and integrity). Research shows that upward comparisons erode affective trust, undermining emotional bonds, and downward comparisons erode cognitive trust, deflating otherwise higher regard.

What can we do about this? 

Here are four suggestions I have been trying to follow as I have become more aware of the negative effects of comparison.

  1. Stay focused. Focus on your own goals and standards. Upward comparison can be very motivating for both individuals and groups. It inspired America to send a man to the moon and helped athletes break seemingly impossible barriers like the four-minute mile. The trouble starts when you work hard and achieve your goal but don’t enjoy it because you’ve shifted your upward comparison further up. Of course, it’s a delicate balance. We naturally take on greater challenges over time but must reflect on how much of the pressure is coming from ourselves.
  2. Be a silent partner in making others successful. When we commit ourselves to making others successful, it nullifies comparisons to them. We can take pride in our contributions, boosting our self-image even when the recognition goes to someone else. We nourish trust with whomever we are helping, and it usually pays dividends in the long run. Michael Lewis’s profile of former NBA player Shane Battier is especially inspiring as to how to be a “no-stats all-star.” However, you won’t stay unsung for long in most professional circumstances, as what goes around comes around.
  3. Stay modest. The more capable and fortunate you are, the likelier it is that you trigger envy in others. When it comes to forging meaningful connections with colleagues, sharing your harder moments can be more valuable than talking about your glorious ones. Everyone can sympathize with how hard it is to travel with kids, for example, but don’t dwell on the fact that the trip was to Hawaii. Be especially wary of humblebrags; don’t complain about paying too much tax or being included in too many awards ceremonies.
  4. Be grateful. Comparison with negative counterfactuals can be very helpful in anchoring our perspective about how fortunate we are. A simple thought exercise can turn an adversity that initially feels devastating into something trivial when compared to the misfortunes of others. We try to teach this to our kids all the time but quickly forget it ourselves – in work and in life.

In a sinister Russian parable, a genie says to a peasant, “I will grant you any wish, but remember that I will give your neighbour twice what I give you.” The peasant thinks for a while and responds, “Poke out one of my eyes.”

In post-communist Russia, after wealth was rapidly and radically redistributed with extreme inequality, many had good reason to be envious and angry. But the corrosive powers of envy were long foretold as the parable shows.

We can save ourselves the proverbial eye by acknowledging how quickly we make ourselves unhappy through comparison – a tendency that has spanned cultures and historic eras. Importantly, talk about this with others who may compare themselves to you and consider how your role modelling can also benefit them.

In the words of Nelson Mandela: Lead from the back and make others believe they are in the front. 

 

You’re Special

You’re Special

How amazing to wake up with God on our side…the Creator Himself chooses to call us sons and daughters…He dares to love us despite all the stuff that comes with us…I’m glad He’s a come as you are God and we can just lay all that stuff down at the feet of Jesus…He keeps shaping us on earth to fit us into Heaven…it seems His grace becomes more amazing every day!!! By Steve Curry

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Contact- Contributions or Prayer requests:

Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

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Dream Patiently

Dream patiently, work balanced diligently.  it has great return on investment!

Next 3 minutes will light your “Fire”

13 The time is surely coming, says the Lord,
    when the one who plows shall overtake the one who reaps,
    and the treader of grapes the one who sows the seed;
the mountains shall drip sweet wine,
    and all the hills shall flow with it.

Amos 9:13 (NRSVCE)

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Contact- Contributions or Prayer requests:                                                                                                  Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

Join our “MLF-MLC” team, become a $19.95 monthly partner!!

Created to More!

My Creation, “I have more for you then you can ever imagine through my gift to you. My Son.

Dare to believe, Dare to Receive, Have Faith.”

God your Father.

“ The Lord will open for you his rich storehouse, the heavens, to give the rain of your land in its season and to bless all your undertakings. You will lend to many nations, but you will not borrow. The Lord will make you the head, and not the tail; you shall be only at the top, and not at the bottom—if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I am commanding you today, by diligently observing them,  and if you do not turn aside from any of the words that I am commanding you today, either to the right or to the left, following other gods to serve them.” Deuteronomy 28:12-14  (NRSVCE)

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Contact- Contributions or Prayer requests:

Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

 

National Day of the “Cowboy”

I’ve seen a few great posts, over the last couple of days, regarding the ‘National Day of the Cowboy’. It made me think of an interview, with Sam Elliott, that I read recently. These words are pretty poignant and I wanted to share his perspective.

“I don’t consider myself a cowboy, but I consider myself a cowboy at heart,” he says. “And I think it’s in the way one conducts themself, what kind of a person you are. I’m used to hard work—I’ve worked hard all my life. I think that’s a big portion of it. I think it’s how you treat people, how you treat women, what kind of integrity you want to have, what kind of character one has, my love for livestock of all kinds… I feel very fortunate to have grown up where I grew up. I wouldn’t have minded growing up years before, a couple of generations earlier, but I think that I had the best of it. I look around at what’s going on today and damn, I’m glad I’m not my kid’s generation, my daughter’s generation… It’s a pretty sad world out there right now. And it’s hard to be optimistic about it. I feel like on some level you don’t know who to believe any more. And that’s not a good thing, regardless of where you stand politically.”

“Cowboys stay close with their family”. “We have a set of values that goes with that code. You know, you get sick of hearing the talking heads talk about the moral decline and the moral decay and all that. You hear all this talk, it’s an awful lot of lip service, but there doesn’t seem to be an awful lot of people doing anything about it… I think those people that wear hats—or don’t even wear hats, but those people that understand the cowboy way (or whatever you wanna call it), the code of the West—ranchers, farmers, or any of those people who are close to the land, who work off the land, they get it. They get it. And that’s gonna stay alive there. And I think that’s gonna stay alive there for a long time. I’d bet on that more than I would anything else in this country. I think those guys are gonna survive all of us. Outlive all of us.”

 — with Garrett Fry.

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Contact- Contributions or Prayer requests:                                                          Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

Morning Line: Covered

Morning Line: Covered!

 Psalm 91”He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty…. He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.

We’ve a big God, Christ Jesus our savior, Holy Spirit our comforter. God’s canopy is over us at all times for shelter; alive and powerful in its treasure of eternal life with all you need. Trust Him, He will not fail you.

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Contact- Contributions or Prayer requests:                                                                Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

Join our “MLF-MLC” team, become a $19.95 monthly partner!!

Help “Mulligans” Change lives around the world one leg up at a time!

Read its good for You!

Read

Sunday’s thought:   With all of today’s technology, it appears the only way many of us learn is through our technology and life experiences.  Let’s not forget what it’s like to actually learn something from a book.  Sometimes it’s great to get back to the basics.  Have you ever taken a sniff of a freshly opened book or listen to the pages swoosh by as we flip to the next page.  A book can share many stories of who has had their eyes peer into its pages.  Before you dive into your next book flip through and look for those messages that may have been left behind by the previous reader(s).   Happy reading!

Michael Zeidenberg🇨🇦

President, Specializing in Strategic & Succession Planning (LION 35k+)

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

 

You can Fly!

You can Fly!

Meditate on the promises get them from your head to your heart.

 “but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary,  they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NRSVCE)

“ For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:6-7 (NRSVCE)

The Lord will open for you his rich storehouse, the heavens, to give the rain of your land in its season and to bless all your undertakings. You will lend to many nations, but you will not borrow. 13 The Lord will make you the head, and not the tail; you shall be only at the top, and not at the bottom—if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I am commanding you today, by diligently observing them, 14 and if you do not turn aside from any of the words that I am commanding you today, either to the right or to the left, following other gods to serve them. “Deuteronomy 28:12-14 (NRSVCE)

As you have accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, you are a joint heir to “All” the promises.

Dare to Fly- You Can!

Live with expectation full of His spirit guiding you!

See ya in God’s Winners Circle
GW
Contact- Contributions or Prayer requests:                                                              Mulligans for Life/ Morning Line Chapel
mulligansforlife.com

Join our “MLF-MLC” team, become a $19.95 monthly partner!!

Help “Mulligans” Change lives around the world one leg up at a time!